Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart's speach
"Hi there. My name is Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. I compose music and perform with my violin and piano. No, that's not quite true - I also play the viola. Especially, when we're playing chamber music with only a few instruments.
I've travelled all our Europe and given a lot of concerts. I've been to Southern Germany in a town called Mannheim where the prince is called Karl Theodor. He lives in a castle. He's always bragging about his orchestra and claims that it's Europe's finest so naturally, I wanted to hear them play.
The orchestra of Prince Karl Theodor is a very big orchestra with a total of 50 musicians and they were very good. After having listened to them, I've composed a lot of symphonies - which is music for a large orchestra.
I think it's crazy when the cellos play the same tunes the double basses so I've given them their own tunes in the symphonies that I've composed. Actually, I've also given the clarinets, the flutes, the oboes and the fagots their own tunes because at the concerts I've seen, they were playing the same tunes as the string players.
I've composed several operas. Among others Don Giovanni. Well, I've composed the music and Lorenzo da Ponte wrote the lyrics which is called the libretto by the way.
Anyway, Don Giovanni, who is the main character of the opera, is very fond of women - very fond indeed. When I was practising with the singers, I wanted the soprano to scream her head off when Don Giovanni tried to kiss her. But she wouldn't. Damnation - I got really annoyed. But then I got an idea - I snuck up on her without being noticed and nipped her buttocks - My God, did she scream!
In fact, I began composing operas when I was just a boy. I was 10 years old when I composed my first opera. The archbishop of Salzburg didn't believe that I was capable of composing on my own. To prove his point, he locked me in a chamber at the convent for a whole week. So, there I was - all alone - while I composed an entire oratorio. It's an extensive and long piece of music for solo singers, choir and orchestra. Afterwards, the archbishop couldn't well tell people that someone had helped me because I'd been all alone in the chamber.
By the way, I just visited the museum here in town and read about myself and my life. You should do the same. Bye children. I'll kiss Mamá a thousand times on her hands. And I'll give you a hundred small kisses or smacking kisses on your wonderful horse face."